The Relaxed Therapist

Solution oriented Therapists ask clients how they will know when they are better. Therapists often wish to be better in their role, but few ask the Miracle Question of themselves.

Solution-Oriented Therapists often ask clients the Miracle Question:

Suppose that one night, while you were asleep, there was a miracle and this problem was solved. How would you know? What would be different? (de Shazer, 1988)

Stressed therapists might be asked a similar question:

Suppose that tonight, while you are asleep, there is a miracle and you become a better therapist. How will you know that this has happened? What will you notice has changed about the way you’re working?

I’ve asked this question many times, of my self and of others. The answers tend to be much the same.

• All my clients will get better all the time
• I will always know what to do in any situation arising in therapy
• Every intervention I make in therapy will work
• If I see a problem, I will be able to address it and solve it
• Nothing I say will ever upset my clients
• I will always be available for my clients whenever they want me
• My clients will co-operate with my therapeutic strategies
• My clients will be grateful for the help I’ve given them
• My clients will never try to manipulate me
• I will not feel frustrated, angry or anxious during therapy sessions

If our clients gave such unrealistic answers, we would renegotiate more practical, achievable goals. How will you know when you”re a better therapist?